Dear Parent/Guardian:

It is with unbearable sadness that I must share with you the passing of our beloved friend and teacher John Spear. He passed away early Saturday morning from injuries resulting from a car accident. John was with our district for more than two decades and presently was the Head Teacher of the Social Studies Department and Varsity Baseball Coach at the high school.

John was a man filled with kindness, generosity and integrity. His passing leaves a void that can never be filled, and words cannot express how much he meant to us. The entire Monticello community will mourn the loss of this very special teacher and friend.

Upon hearing the news of the accident, our crisis team developed a plan to help our students and staff cope with this terrible loss. Counselors will be available throughout the upcoming week to offer support to anyone who needs it.

Children grieve in different ways, some may be very upset, while others may exhibit seemingly inappropriate responses. Even if your child has not had direct ties to Mr. Spear, they still may be very upset by this event.

Please give your child an opportunity to express their feelings. If you are concerned about your child’s response, please contact their principal or school counselor. Below is information regarding the grieving process and ways that you can help your child understand and cope with this tragedy.

Students, parents and staff throughout the district are deeply saddened by this loss. John leaves behind his wife, Elaine, his children: Tommy, Gina and David (a student at Monticello HS), and a grandson Adyn. As John was the sole breadwinner of the family, in lieu of flowers and food, the family is requesting donations to help them through this difficult time.

Please send to:
Elaine Spear
5 Avon Street
Rock Hill, NY 12775

John Spear was truly a very special person and teacher who touched the lives of so many in this community. He will be greatly missed.

Sincerely,
Dr. Patrick Michel
Superintendent of Schools
Monticello Central School District


Children and Reactions to Death
Adapted from National Association of School Psychologists

A child’s need to ask the same questions about death over and over is more of a need for reassurance that the story has not changed rather than a need for factual accuracy. Children also seek adult reactions so they can gauge their own reactions. Emotions may be expressed as angry outbursts or misbehaviors that are often not recognized as grief related.

Developmental phases in understanding death
Ages 5-9
This is the age when children begin to understand the finality of death. Death is seen as an accident rather than inevitable. Death is often seen as something that will happen to others not to ourselves.

Ages 10-12
Children have the mental development and emotional security to express an understanding of death as a final and inevitable event.

Common reactions for all students
• Anxious/fearful
• Sad
• Lonely/vulnerable
• Guilty
• Angry
• Confused/scared
• Withdrawn
• Act aggressively
• Poor attention span/lower grades
• Act like it never happened
• Nightmares/sleep disturbance
• Appetite changes (over or under eating)

Suggestions for parents to support children
• Answer and encourage questions about illness, death, divorce, disaster, hospitals, etc.
• Encourage them to talk about their feelings. Use reflective listening.
• Share your grief reactions in order to normalize theirs.
• Read books about death/loss/divorce, etc.
• Encourage them to seek out other safe, familiar adults when unable to discuss your grief/fears/concerns.
• Encourage physical activities and play.
• Maintain routine and provide good nutritional and sleep patterns.
• Give hope. Children need to know they will enjoy life again.
• Talk about the person who dies/the loss in everyday conversation.

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