By NEESP "Report to Parents"

Schools nationwide are working harder than ever to protect their children from violence. But the first and most important place to fight violent behavior is at home. It is critically important for parents, who spend more and more days and hours with their children than do principals and teachers, to be alert for danger signals. Research has shown that children heading for trouble often give out warning signs that can be dramatic or subtle. Parents should be aware of these signs and be prepared to take action if their child:

• Shows a serious negative change in personality
• Threatens to harm himself/herself or others
• Is cruel to animals
• Has an uncontrollable temper
• Is mesmerized by weapons
• Adopts a new and disturbing style of dress
• Refuses to follow rules at home or at school
• Is now, or wants to be, involved with gangs
• Is a loner with few or no close friends
• Expresses violent feelings in art or writing
• Is unable to accept criticism
• Suddenly begins doing poorly in school
• Has a reputation for being either a bully or a frequent target of bullies.

Don’t panic! While any of these warning signs could indicate that a child may be in trouble, some may represent nothing more than youthful rebellion. The best thing to do, if you notice any of these traits, is to talk to your child and try to understand what is causing these changes. Counseling is very important, for both parents and children.

• Don’t rush to judgment. Thousands of teens who are "into" Gothic clothing and trench coats would never dream of causing harm to anyone. It’s very important not to make hasty judgments. Look at the whole child.
• Be alert for other clues: Pay attention to talk of violence, revenge, or suicide. Ask questions if your child shows unusual interest in explosives and firearms, particularly if he or she spends time on Internet sites that provide information on lethal weapons.
• Look beyond your family: Don’t rely on other parents to keep their children out of trouble. If you see danger signs involving those children, which their parents either don’t see or choose to ignore, you should notify the school or appropriate authorities.
• Don’t wait: Seek immediate help from school counselors or law enforcement officers if a child: repeatedly threatens or develops a plan to seriously harm others, instigates frequent and violent fights, becomes furious with little apparent cause, or has access to lethal weapons and threatens to use them.

Keeping our children safe is the most important thing that we, as parents and educators, can do. Please do all you can to help us stop violence before it starts.

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