By: Eric S. Franzone, Psy.D.
School/Clinical Child Psychologist
Monticello Central School District

Bullying is a problem that children all across America have encountered in their days on and off the school playground. Unfortunately, many of the cases go unspoken, unsolved, and often the violence escalates to scary proportions.

Miss America 2003, Erika Harold, used her reign to speak out against bullying. Even she—a beauty queen—was bullied as a child because of her mixed ethnic heritage. In her case, the bullies started by calling her names, then escalating to threatening her life and vandalizing her home. She eventually transferred schools to escape the problem.

What is a bully?

A Bully has been defined as one who fairly often oppresses or harasses someone else; the target may be boys or girls, the harassment physical or mental (Cohn and Canter, 2003). In addition, a bully is usually someone who directs physical, verbal, or psychological aggression or harassment toward others with the goal of gaining power over, or dominating another individual. Although bullying behavior is recognized as more prevalent in boys than girls, this difference decreases when nonphysical forms of aggression are considered (e.g., verbal threats).

Bullying is considered a learned behavior (Cohn and Canter, 2003). Children who become bullies are often under-supervised and learn from an early age that "bullying pays off". Those who bully others have often learned from being told, "do as I say, not as I do," and learn that intimidation is a normal part of interpersonal interactions. In addition, those exposed to severe forms of physical punishment, that is, corporal punishment that is too harsh, too frequent, or too physical, often learn that it is "OK" for big people to hit little people. Consequently, bullying behavior seems to be learned and reinforced within a social context.

Psychologist Russell Skiba (2003) reported that peer groups may also reinforce bullying behavior, particularly when they promote aggressive behavior against others. Unfortunately, children at risk for becoming bullies may try to fit in with aggressive peer groups, even though they may be uncomfortable with the behavior that that peer group displays. To counter the development of bullying, then, Skiba suggests that educators and parents work together to effectively deal with bullying behavior in the school immediately and effectively.

What can parents do?

The National Association of School Psychologists advocates for parents, communities and schools to work together not only to redirect bullying behavior, but also to invest their energies into promoting a positive and safe learning environment within the school. There are many strategies parents can use at home to counter bullying:

• Provide positive feedback to children for appropriate social behaviors
• Model positive social interactions with each other
• Revoke privileges, rather than use physical punishment to manage inappropriate behavior
• Encourage children to be assertive and reach out for support from school staff and other students.

Through these efforts, parents and schools can help each other promote positive social skills in young children, thereby creating safer schools and productive learning environments.

What should children do?

Children need to learn to take proactive steps in reducing bullying, both against themselves and against others. Children should learn to:

• Let a teacher know if they or a fellow student is being bullied
• Stand up for others against the cruelty of bullies
• Don't let the bully know that they upset you
• Exhibit compassion against bullies by knowing that the bully is acting out because they feel insecure. Accept the bully and show him/her friendship.

Mrs. Karen Warden, School Psychologist in the Monticello Central School District, suggests encouraging children to be assertive and to reach out for support from school staff and other students when confronted by a bully. She emphasizes that children should not feel alone, but ask for help when confronted by a bully. 

These actions can help children ward off bullies when teachers or supervisors are not around.

What are the schools doing? 

The Monticello Central School District is working on strategies to assist students and staff to reduce the occurrences of bullying and to promote a positive school climate. Skiba (2003) suggests that such efforts significantly and effectively reduce the occurrence of bullying and influence a school climate that is productive and positive. In addition, Monticello has early intervention strategies and training that focuses on building-wide social skills training. They also offer interventions that take steps towards producing positive school environments. Furthermore, efforts are also underway to assist parents to attend to, model and reinforce appropriate social skills at home, such as with parent workshops and family nights. Finally, teachers are trained to identify and reinforce appropriate behavior in the classroom, further lending reinforcement to a positive learning environment in the school.

Val Mihic (Educational Consultant), recently presented a workshop about bullying in the Monticello Central School District. He said, "bullying is all about acceptance, rejection, and vulnerability. The best thing our schools can do is continue to give students the language and the skills to be socially appropriate, starting from an early age." Mr. Mihic explained that the key to stopping bullying is imposing limits and boundaries, teaching children to be self-protective, and encouraging them to assertively ward off the bullyer.

Bullying is a social problem that impacts individuals, schools and communities. Researchers suggest that bullying is a learned behavior and it must be dealt with directly. Bullying is best dealt with by redirecting it early, replacing it with positive social skills, and reinforcing students for appropriate social behavior (e.g., "catch-em being good"). School-wide and district-wide efforts aimed at modeling and reinforcing appropriate social skills are believed to have the greatest impact on decreasing bullying, and thereby promoting safer classrooms and safer schools.

Other resources and articles 

Bullying: A new solution to an old problem

Bully-Proofing your child

What to do when you discover violent behavior in your child

CNN Student news report: Bullies at risk of becoming criminals

The Anti-Bullying Project (information for parents and students)

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