| Rising
to the challenge - Helping your child successfully handle change
at school...and beyond
From the first trip on the big yellow school
bus to the moving-up ceremony at the end of fifth grade, the
elementary years are filled with lots of change. And while some
children meet these new experiences with ease and eagerness,
others have difficulty plunging into unfamiliar waters.
During the elementary years, the transition from one year to
the next can be particularly challenging, requiring children to
adjust to new people and to take on more complex workloads and
responsibility. School stress can also be exacerbated by changes
in their home lives (e.g., the birth of a sibling, parent’s
divorce, death, etc.)
Preparing children to meet new challenges
There are many things families can do to help their children
cope with change and successfully take on the new experiences they
will meet, now and in the future. Here are some suggestions:
• Set the tone for school success.
When they are young, children use your reactions and emotions as
primary indicators of how they should view and respond to new
situations. For this reason, your enthusiasm about school can be
contagious.
• Help boost children’s independence by
encouraging them to take on responsibility at home.
Success with tasks at home like choosing their clothing for the
day, getting themselves dressed, preparing lunch or caring for a
pet can help children take on new experiences outside the home
with greater confidence.
• Buy an inexpensive paper or erasable
calendar with large grids (available at office supply stores) and
help your children schedule their days,
including assignments, sports and other extracurricular
activities, appointments, special events and holidays. Keeping a
calendar posted in a prominent location at home helps children
anticipate what activities are coming and what is expected of
them. It is also a great way to teach organizational skills that
become more and more important as they move through school.
• Establish a predictable routine
early in the school year. Each day,
check your children’s backpacks for important notices and
communication from teachers, set aside a place to store the items
children need to head off to school (backpacks, coats, school
supplies, sneakers, instruments) and establish a consistent
homework time each day. The more organized your home routine is,
the more safe and secure kids will feel and the less stress they
will carry out the door with them.
• Continually assess your children’s
overall schedule (academic, social, extracurricular) and make sure
there is balance. Too many
activities in any area are likely to cause extra stress for
children and for you. During the school year, consider limiting
children to one to two extracurricular activities.
• Make sure children are getting
adequate sleep each night, and begin the day with a nutritious
breakfast.
• Make sure children have time for
daily physical activity and exercise.
Rather than having them complete their homework as soon as they
get home, set aside an hour or two after school for them to play
and blow off some steam.
• Limit the amount of time spent watching television and
videos or playing computer games, which are passive, isolating
activities. Encourage your children to use their free time to
read, listen to music, pursue hobbies, spend time with friends or
take part in activities that your family enjoys.
• Connect as a family with
activities like meals, walks or games that give everyone time to
talk about their day and the things that interest and concern
them.
• Make sure children catch the bus
and/or arrive at school on time each day. The
bus ride to school plus the first 10-15 minutes of the day can be
an important time for children to connect with their friends and
set the tone for learning.
• Teach your children
anxiety-reducing strategies, such as
deep breathing and stretching. Yoga Games for Children: Fun and
Fitness With Postures, Movements and Breath (Hunter House
Smartfun Book) by Danielle Bersma is a great resource. Many
children who are tentative about confronting new situations
benefit from role-playing with a trusted parent or family member.
• Don’t wait until a concern becomes a larger problem
What may start out as discomfort with a new situation can grow
over time into a nagging fear or even neurosis. Some signs that
your child may be experiencing chronic stress related to making
school transitions include:
• An expressed desire not to go to school
• Upset stomach, diarrhea or indigestion
• Headache
• Backache
• Insomnia (inability to fall asleep)
• Eating too much or too little
• Feeling hostile, angry or irritable
• Feeling anxious
• Avoiding other people
• Crying
• Feeling frustrated with things that would otherwise only
bother your child a little bit.
If you think that your child is having particular difficulty
making school transitions, enlist the help of your child’s
teacher, principal or school social worker.
Additional resources
Nurturing Resilience in Our Children : Answers to the Most
Important Parenting Questions by Robert B. Brooks
Raising resilient children: fostering strength, hope, and
optimism in your child
by Robert B. Brooks
Seven Steps to Help Your Child Worry Less: A Family Guide
(Seven Steps Family Guides Series) by Sam Goldstein
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