Family music making: Nurturing a love of music in your child

Parent Corner

Singer and songwriter Ruth Pelham has a suggestion for the next time the decibel level goes off the charts in your house: Take that noise and make it into a song!

Pelham, a nationally-known performer who often works with children and families, says that instilling a love of music in children begins with changing our adult perspectives on what music is.

"We all have an innate joy as human beings in our ability to make sound and noise," says Pelham. "A lot of the time what parents see as kids getting out of hand is just them experimenting with sounds and music. For this reason, a big part of helping nurture a love of music involves letting go of your inhibitions."

Pelham says that taking the "noise" and turning it into something that is valued can go a long way toward building a musical foundation in families.

"This can be as simple as saying ‘Let’s take that noise that you just made and add some rhythm.’ It becomes ‘Tap, tap, scream!!!, Tap, tap scream!!!’ Then you make that sound a little softer — ‘Tap, tap, ahhh! — Tap, tap, ahhh!’ and then a little softer still —’Tap, tap, hush. Tap tap, hush.’ All of a sudden it isn’t an annoying noise anymore, but your child’s own music."

For many parents, Pelham says fear of noise and a belief that you have got to be "really great" in order to make music comes from their own experiences as young children. For this reason, she suggests that parents remember their own early musical impressions—both good and bad. "Think about the times when you were transported by music, whether it was a lullaby at bedtime or a concert. Finding these memories inside us as adults provides the guideposts by which we can bring our children along through their own music discovery."

Family music-making

Pelham suggests that all families make time for everyone (emphasis on everyone) to be seen and heard musically. Music-making with young children is a wonderful way to encourage language development, self-confidence, a sense of belonging and the ability to work cooperatively with others.

Pelham suggests the following activities as stepping stones:

Have everyone create their own musical instrument. Then turn on the radio, or CD player and have everyone play along to your favorite tunes.
Expose your children to a variety of musical styles. There is a wealth of free music available (radio, CDs and cassettes from the library, free concerts and performances. Check the art and performance listings in local newspapers and magazines.)
Turn off the television — "We are left a lot more room for creativity if we listen and experience music absent the visual piece," says Pelham.
Sing, rather than read the words in a book. Make up sounds to go along with the action in the book.
Experiment with sounds, melody, rhythm. "Songs don’t have to be made up of words. Sometimes words are what get in the way of our music."

Books on making instruments and music

Musicraft: Fun-filled Instrument-Building
and Music Making Activities by Ruth Pelham
Available from Ruth Pelham Music, P.O. Box 6024, Albany, New York 12206
Open Ears: Musical Adventures
for a New Generation by Ellipsis Art
Shake It To The One That You Love the Best:
Play Songs and Lullabies from Black Musical Traditions by Varnette P. Honeywood